Myself

Looking again and again at her watch on alternate minutes, she didn’t seem to enjoy the movie much. Perhaps the film was monotonous. Since she used to love romantic comedies and art films, historical plays weren’t really her cup of tea. It’s a quarter to five, yet the Econs lecturer didn’t show any intention to stop the play. Silently she put a Halls in her mouth just to keep herself awaken. The night before was a long one. Insomnia had called on her as usual. She remembered finally voyaging across her dreamland only in the twilit gloom.

The view outside the picture window caught her sight rather than the TV screen. The once fair sky became suddenly covered with dark clouds. She started to worry about her journey back home as homesickness had overshadowed her over the past few weeks.

Immediately after the lesson, she took a cab to the LRT station nearby. The traffic was heavy. She wasn’t in the mood of enjoying the great architecture around the city through the windscreen. On the contrary, the hectic life in big city made her sick. Staring anxiously at the display of fare, she counted repeatedly the only few notes with her. She gave out a big relief when she finally escaped from the traffic congestion.

The LRT was crowded with people from all walks, yet her heart was filled with loneliness. Looking at every single face of stranger, she found her own comfort zone listening to the snoring of an old man beside her. The once young dependent girl who never took any public transport in her hometown had been forced to grow up. Sometimes, she did doubt her decision which was to stay apart from her family and came alone to this unfamiliar place. She always wondered whether she had been on the right track on pursuing her own dream. In fact, her dad was the one who desired her to study abroad. As for her, she only wished to stay in her own homeland together with her beloved family. To be able to graduate from a local university is more than satisfactory to her. It’s not that she didn’t want to dream big. There was time she loved to dream. But the reality of life had swept away all her naïve and unrealistic thoughts over these years. She knew her responsibility well enough. Being the eldest child, her parents had set all their hopes on her. She never allowed herself to disappoint them. Indeed, it was her important role in the family that made her feel alive. Sometimes she would imagine herself as a wedding planner which was once her ambition. But most of the time, she kept reminding herself that her ultimate dream would be to build her family a dream house.

Apart from that, she was none other than an ordinary young lady with some sort of boyish characteristics. She talked aloud and always giggled like nobody business. She was a big bully who loved to tease her friends and make fun of them. She was clumsy and absent-minded that she could lose her processions all over the place. She posed a hyperactive personality though sometimes she might have some pessimistic thoughts. She was short-tempered, emotional and sensitive. Mc D’s sundae cone would never fail to make her day better. Her friends always considered her a naïve person as she trusted people easily and hence was always deceived by others but yet she never stopped believing them. She loved to travel around so she once dreamed to be an air-stewardess. Paris was her dream city as she loved romance and art. She had a little secret that she was always terrified during English lesson since she was Form 4. She would start shivering whenever teacher called her name. Last but not least, home was always her final destination.